Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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