He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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