God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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