Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
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I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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