Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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