I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize