She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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