part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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