I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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