I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My life is pants optional.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize