butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
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That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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