Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
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It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
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My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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