So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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