what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
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i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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