Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize