Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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