Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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