The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
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What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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