Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think i peed on brittanys purse
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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