Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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