No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize