He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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