No awkward lesbian experiences without me
North Korea, Best Korea!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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