no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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