I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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