Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She bit a glass in half.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize