i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I enjoy the company of your penis
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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