after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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