Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
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Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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