Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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