He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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