yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize