this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize