just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just want nice things and good sex
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize