And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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