Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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