Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize