I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
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Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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