I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize