Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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