Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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