you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize