Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize