i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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