I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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