Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize