Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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