Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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