I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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