apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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